It’s been about 10 years since I did my first Triathlon. It was in college, shorter than a Sprint distance. I actually took a class call “triathlon training” and the prof helped us get ready to swim, bike, and run our way to the finish line. The swim was in a pool, the run was second, and the bike was 3 loops. But I finished it, and possibly felt the best I have ever felt in my life. I felt great all the time back then, before I started worrying about getting married, turning thirty, helping to run my husband’s business, making payroll, and finding age spots on my face.  My life has changed a lot in the past decade, and I am not anywhere near where I thought I would be in terms of personal accomplishments and professional success.  I am happy, in the contented and compromised way that women often find their happiness, putting other priorities first, accepting reality and adulthood responsibilities, choosing to not “have it all” because it takes too much damned energy to make sure I get it all. I watch 5 to 7 hours of TV every week and I never thought I would be that person.  I choose to watch it because it is easier than putting on my running shoes. It is easier than explaining to my husband and to myself why I want to get off the couch and go to the gym. It is easier than thinking about all of the things I need to think about and I know it’s lazy.

I’ve been dreaming of doing my next triathlon since the moment I completed the first one. I didn’t think time would get away from me like it has. I always thought I would start back up with the training and things would fall into place. One thing I did not realize was how much effort it would take to start the momentum, and how much effort is required to keep that momentum going. It’s exhausting! Last fall I wanted to do the Galveston Tri, which was eventually postponed to this year due to the hurricane damage. Somehow I talked 2 girlfriends into training with me, and we managed to get in about 20 runs and 5 swims of practice. Then I did nothing for approximately 6 months.

In the back of my mind, there is memory of myself as a younger girl, when I cut out a picture from a magazine and hung it on my bedroom wall.  I swam for ODAC in junior high, and had a subscription to what I think was Swimming World.  Each issue had a full page color picture inside the back cover, which was usually an inspirational photo of an athlete in action or someone famous deep in concentration.  The picture I saved was of a female professional triathlete, standing in a bathing suit, with a gold ring on her thumb. I don’t remember her name, but I may still have the torn out page in my box of memorabilia.

So what’s my point? My point is, I am going to do another triathlon. I’m a little afraid of it, but I can do it. I am not afraid of the work, and I am not afraid of the race. My obstacles making training a priority and still keep on top of work. Another challenge is embracing the focused lifestyle and likely new acquiantances without causing turbulance in my newly married home life. I am also afraid to find out that I might not be very good at triathlons. I always believed I could be very good at this sport, and wondered “what it takes” to become a professional. Any pro reading this should laugh at me. Let me just get my second tri in a decade under my belt, and then I can talk about whether I even like this sport as an adult.

New inspiration for today: