To elope, or not to elope. That is the question of the day (year).

Why a wedding is important to me, in priority order:

1. After we get married, I want to feel different. We’ve been living together so long that I’m afraid eloping will just feel like another vacation. I want to go through the ceremony of changing myself into a married woman, into half of a whole.

2. I want John to choose me publicly, in front of everyone he knows and loves, friends and family. I want the ceremony to be public so everyone can see me making my choice, going through the motions of becoming half of the new official us. I want to feel the support of all the people there, empowering me to make this choice and choose this person, and cheering me on as I start a new and exciting phase in my life.

3. I want to walk down the aisle with my dad, and be given away with his approval and consent. I want to wear a veil and a white dress and carry a bouquet.  I want all the little children of my friends and family to run down the aisle in front of me, as a breath of fresh air, fun and energetic and carefree, setting the mood for our marriage and the rest of our lives.

Today might be the day I tell him.